Sign of a Married Woman

My Rings 

When I was 13 or so, my dad gave me a ring, a simple silver band, a symbol of purity. I made a vow to him, the Lord, and my future husband that I would remain a virgin until marriage. I wore that ring until November 21, 2009 when my dad slipped the ring to Josh at the altar. Few noticed.

Picture by Dan Buettner

I had always worn my purity ring on my ring finger on my left hand until the year I met Josh. Mom told me that I needed to leave the finger open to show that I wasn't married. Reluctantly, I began wearing my little band on my right hand. Since I was on my way to Africa and not planning to get married anytime in the next three years (at least), I felt this was unnecesary.

Weeks later, I was at a Wycliffe Bible Translators meeting. During the meeting I noticed that I had accidently put my ring on my left hand earlier in the day out of habit. (Give me a break. I wore it that way for over 10 years!) I quickly moved the band over, remembering what my mom had told me weeks earlier.

I met Josh that night after the meeting. He asked me out that night. He wouldn't have if there had been a ring on my left hand, he told me later. (Thanks, Mom.)

Picture by Dan Buettner

Now we're married, and I have a new ring. Josh has my old one hanging above his desk at home. My new ring is to proclaim to the world that I am married to Josh. He picked it out with intentionality.

 There are three stones at the top of the ring. The center stone is bigger and stands between the two smaller ones. This represent Christ in the center of our marriage. There are ten little stones, five on each side. (These are ten children! We'll see about that.) I really love this man.

Picture by Dan Buettner

I don't know how accurate it is, but I thought I'd show you a little glimpse of another culture and the importance of symbols of marriage. It may just apply to certain caste. It's an interesting sense of humor anyway.
 
Vermilion Mark 

"In India, bangles, locket and vermilion mark on the forehead are symbols of a married woman. Daily, the husband applies the vermilion on the wife's forehead as it is believed to be connected to his lifeline. When the husband dies, Rudali's (professional mourners) come and strip the woman off these symbols."

Protective-Restrictive Difference

We hit 10 months of marriage, and we've been learning more about our differences. For one, he's a Honda guy and I like Toyota. Another difference that seems a little more significant for our marriage right now is our Protective-Restrictive Difference. We can look at the exact same situation and think totally different things.

Some Small-scale Examples
Josh always wears shoes outside, and I would endure much pain if I can remain barefooted as long as possible. Shoes to Josh are protective, to me, restrictive. He would carefully take out a cutting board, and I'd dice the tomato from my hand. He would turn on lights, and I would run through the dark... while thinking, How far can I make it without running into or stepping on something? I totally used to do this as a kid through a yard with dog mines. True, the chance of injury (or stepping in poop) is greater for me, but time saved somehow seems worth it to me.
I'm time-oriented, and Josh is quality-oriented. We're grateful for this.

For me, I get some sort of thrill with the challenge. Josh is a little more practical, I think. He doesn't care so much if I swim across the pool faster, because in the end, he won't be the one who lost a contact, got a charley horse, and swallowed a bunch of chlorine.

How does this Protective-Restrictive Difference apply to life on a larger scale? I haven't quite figured that one out.

So when it comes time to buying a mini-van (cuz everyone's doin' it), which do we get? Honda or Toyota?

Gave it all up.

I gave it all up in 2009 to be with Josh.

Since then, I've been given it all back... and some!



Read about it on my other blog.

Can't Stop Talking. It's Normal.

Mom, you are right.

My mom was with us for a few days before moving to Naknek, Alaska (read about it). As we were packing up and taping boxes to ship up there, she told me that Josh and I talk more to each other than any couple she knows. She wonders how on earth we get anything accomplished. You might wonder.

Here's a classic example from just last night.

Josh and I met after work to go to a coffee shop to be productive. I picked him up so we could talk and drive together. He had a list of things to do, and well, I went to keep him company. Normal.

We ended up having three significant discussions. Significant, meaning, it influenced our thinking, enhanced our communication skills, and drew us closer together. The goals of all conversations. One was on family, how we interact with various members. Another was on the situation with our church and our amazing pastor, Tom Brock. We are so proud to be members of Hope. The third was on vows and divorce. After a few hours, we agreed to continue at a later time, and he quick returned to studies.

I love my husband.

He's my best friend.

We left his car at work so we could drive home together. On the way home we read Nahum. It was a normal evening.

This is why we review priorities. What does that mean?