Learning to Wife

Won't Boil Over

2012-03-18T17:08:00.000-07:00

I've heard about this.

I didn't believe it until I tried it myself.

Seriously.

It didn't boil over.

Life just got easier.

You're welcome.

Mind Maps & Doodles (processing through differences)

2012-03-12T16:53:00.000-07:00

I have two images to show you a difference between Josh and me:

I bet you can guess which represents Josh and which me.

That very large piece of vinyl (sold by the yard at JoAnn Fabrics) pictured above is mounted on the wall above my husband's desk. It's a stress relieving, prioritizing, clarifying, decision-making tool... for him. He loves it and writes on it everyday with Vis-a-Vis markers. Sometimes I think he's nuts. But mostly, I'm so thankful that God made him like this.

The second picture is my trying to decide on a baby name. That's all.

When I want to process through ideas and emotions, there's nothing like...

a post-it note and a ballpoint pen
a piano
cooking curry or some other deliciousness
writing a blog post or journal entry

We're different.

For over two years, Josh and I have been blending our lives together. As part of learning to wife I've spent a lot of time trying to be the super-systems-using-and-understanding-strategist-wife. He loves when I listen to what the mind map means to him. This is affirming, and yes, even flirtatious. It values him.

But, Josh is encouraging me to embrace the way God has created me and to invest time in activities and subjects I enjoy. This is freeing for me. I'm learning how to rediscover my strengths and develop them through various outlets.

How have you developed your strengths through life's changes?

Feeling the Pregnancy

2012-02-04T13:20:00.000-08:00

Grateful for so many things, especially these things:

I can feel our little baby kick now.
My Josh regularly checks to see if he can feel the baby yet.
Our midwife loves babies, natural births, and the Lord.
I'm warm all the time and this allows me to wear sandals whenever I want.
I have no food aversions. I love meat. I love spice. I love milk.
People are starting to notice I'm pregnant.
I love having a mommy glow and a baby bump.
Josh and I love being parents, and we love being parents together.

Taken by Joshua Wagner

Chicken Tikka Masala

2012-01-10T13:16:00.000-08:00

Josh bought me this Best Ever Indian cookbook at Half Price Books for $5. He started reading it on the plane ride to Texas. (We moved to Dallas a couple weeks ago!)

He has requested that I start at the very beginning with chicken tikka masala (p8). I'd say it was a pretty good start. And I had a lot of fun!

First, I made the tandoori chicken (p32). This included an overnight marinade with greek yogurt, heavy cream and other deliciousness. Intense broiling until charred - one of those flip and brush every few minutes kinda broiling.

Next, the tikka masala brought some aromatic spices, diced tomato and, oh yes, heavy cream...

Add the tandoori chicken, spread over basmati rice, and garnish with fresh cilantro. Could it get any better than this?

Lunchtime today made a very happy papa and mama. Our little babe is gonna be begging for some curry right out of the womb! 16 weeks today.

P.S. Next on page ten is chicken korma.

Waffles Without Milk

2012-01-07T09:08:00.001-08:00

We drink a lot of milk in our home. Raised that way. We were out this morning, and I wanted to make waffles. I really dislike making extra trips to the grocery store. I substituted orange juice for the milk. Same amount. Result = perfect and delicious.

(Thanks, Betty Crocker.)

Really Bad Eggs - Part 2

2011-12-09T15:48:00.000-08:00

Found these on the kitchen counter. Typically eggies left out for a little too long don't worry me... not this time. Enjoy, brother.

Goodbye, Rock Hard Brown Sugar

2011-12-03T15:34:00.000-08:00

Ever left the lid off the brown sugar? So annoying. Here's the solution. It takes several hours in a sealed container but works every time!

Rock hard brown sugar + piece of bread = soft brown sugar deliciousness

My mama taught me this.

I thought everybody knew, but I've run into several people recently that didn't. Maybe you didn't either. There you have it.

Not Your Ordinary Oatmeal Cookie

2011-11-27T05:43:00.000-08:00

These are our favorite cookies now. I got the recipe from Pat, a colleague and friend, who got it from her mom, Lois. More people have asked me for this recipe than any other. So I'm gonna share the love.

Oatmeal Cookies

1 c. margarine
2 c. brown sugar
2 eggs
2 c. flour
1 tsp. soda
1 tsp. bkg powder
2 c. oatmeal (little more)
1 c. each of any/all: coconut - nuts - raisens/craisens - chocolate chips
(cinnamon)

Bake at 350.

I use coconut, pecans, white chocolate chips, and craisins... and leave out the cinnamon. And I bake it on parchment paper so keep down the mess.

Can't get any easier or more delicious than this. Thanks, Pat and Lois!

Learning to Wife w/ A Bump

2011-11-21T15:30:00.000-08:00

The bump's not quite visible, but here's an introduction. Baby Lovebird is working to join us in June! Josh and I couldn't be more thrilled. Today's our 2-year anniversary, so I thought it was the perfect day to announce I'm learning to wife in a new way!

(Ultrasound: 11/10/11 - turn up the volume)

My and Maybe Your Kind of Unrefined Breakfast

2011-11-19T07:23:00.000-08:00

Some make elaborate breakfasts with fancy flour, grains, and nuts. I definitely drool over a friend's site unrefinedkitchen.com. I would love to try her recipes, but in the meantime I'm on the run... working and packing for our big move in December.

This oatmeal has become my new favorite breakfast.

- mug
- oatmeal
- salt
- boiling water
- berries, optional

I take a large mug and throw in a handful of oats and half a pinch of salt. Then I pour boiling water on top and walk away to get ready for the day. After a while, I return and throw a few frozen berries in there (sometimes I add these before the water), grab a cup off coffee, and enjoy. Yummmmm.

In the meantime I've added coconut flour to camelcamelcamel.com - a price tracking site for Amazon (my favorite kind of shopping). When it hits a super low price, I'll snatch it and experiment.

Really Bad Eggs

2011-11-13T15:48:00.000-08:00

Don't eat the floaters.

Glad I learned this trick before making a mistake.

Learning to wife!

I hate shopping.

2011-11-07T18:42:00.000-08:00

Choices are my worst nightmare. I hate shopping but these were a super good deal at Coldwater Creek. I dragged myself there to return something and saw them. I took this picture and sent it to Josh. I ended up with the grey and cream ones. Grateful Josh loves to buy my clothes.

The lady who worked there felt bad for me as she watched me wander, nervously look around, and whisper on my phone.

I felt bad for me, too.

This tasted disgusting.

2011-11-01T12:32:00.000-07:00

Learning to wife!

Steak

2011-10-26T18:13:00.000-07:00

We had the incredible privilege of joining good friends for a birthday celebration at Manny's. Gals, you're probably like me in asking the the silly question "What's Manny's?" Save yourself the gasps and don't ask your husband. Just check out the website.

It's a big deal.

I learned the value of steak for a man.

I had crab stuffed halibut.

Learning to wife!

Homemade Yogurt

2011-10-20T14:39:00.000-07:00

It's so easy. Especially with this maker and this thermometer/timer.

Heat 40oz of 2% or Whole milk in a saucepan until it starts to boil (180*F) for a couple minutes.
Let it cool to lukewarm (110*F). If you're in a hurry, put the saucepan in cold water, but it doesn't turn out as good.
Stir half the milk in a bowl with 3/4 cup of plain yogurt. You'll feel it start to thicken already! Add the other half.
Pour into cups. Leave alone for 8 hours (for Whole) or 9 hours (for 2%).
Refrigerate and enjoy!

You can add fruit, jam, or other flavorings before filling the jars, but I don't. We like to add our own flavorings afterward. I mostly eat it plain or sprinkle some cinnamon on it. We love to eat it with rice and curry.

Just make sure you start it at a reasonable hour or you'll have to set an alarm. Oh, and don't use Skim milk. Learning to wife!

How do you make/like your yogurt?

Hot or Cold: Can't we all just get along?

2011-10-05T13:20:00.000-07:00

Are you task-oriented or relationship-oriented? Do you focus more on doing or being? Do you tend to think objectively or subjectively? No right or wrong answers.

Josh and I are taking Perspectives, an in-depth study on the World Christian Movement. Absolutely phenomenal. It is some of the best training I've received in preparation for missionary service.

Anyway.

I had a learning to wife moment in class last night.

We were looking at the generalized characteristics of the world's two cultural "halves." This refers to the concept that the world can be divided into two cultures: hot and cold. Read this. Westerners tend to be cold-climate cultures and the majority of the rest of the world tend to be hot-climate cultures. We received a handout that described both "cultures." Its purpose was to self-evaluate and understand from where we're coming when entering another culture. Josh and I of course charted our way down the list. As expected he leaned cold, and I leaned hot. What can I say? I'm a TCK (third-culture kid) from Bangladesh. Of course I wasn't across the board hot... but Josh conveniently was hot on areas I'm cold.

Weird.

Examples:

I multitask and feel time is limitless (hot), and he focuses on one thing at a time and prioritizes efficiency (cold).
I am time-oriented (cold), focusing on punctuality and goals. Josh is event-oriented (hot), focusing on completion, quality and solutions.

CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?

It was fun getting to know each other a little better, but the instructor brought a valuable point to the discussion. It's not about judging what's the right or wrong way to be. There are no right or wrong "cultures." God has beautifully created the diversity.

I'm reminded that God has made Josh and me very different.

We see the world from opposite angles in a lot of ways, but we're excited to see the way God is going to use us as we bring our "cultures" together under Christ. After all, isn't that was he's doing with all the nations? All those cultures are going to be represented before the throne one day. I think we'll get along just fine.

Ham & Cauliflower Bread Bowl

2011-07-02T16:53:00.000-07:00

Ham & Cauliflower Bread Bowl

Ruthie Wagner

1-2 ham bones with a little ham on them

6-8 cups water
several brown or red potatoes

1/2 large yellow onion

1 c. of carrots, chopped

1 c. of celery, chopped

1 T. garlic

1 head of cauliflower

sourdough bread (the round roll kind)

grated cheese (preferably the strong and hard kind)

Boil and simmer ham bones and water in a large saucepan. The water doesn't need to cover the bones. I boiled them for at least half an hour.
Pull the bones out of the water, and leave the liquid in the pot on the stove! Cut the meat from the bone and set aside. Throw the bones away.
Chop and add to the liquid the potatoes, onion, carrots, celery, and garlic.
Cook on medium until veggies are soft. Pull the veggies out of the pot and puree in blender (or food processor) with a little liquid.
Add ham pieces, cauliflower florets and puree mixture to the pot. Cook until florets are done but still slightly firm.

To serve:

Cut out the inside of the sour dough roll to make a bowl and set the bread insides aside for later soup dipping.
Ladle soup in bread bowl.
Top with grated cheese.
Enjoy!

Notes: I like to freeze ham bones with some meat on them until I'm ready to use them. Then I can use two for one soup. Hint: Men like meat. Hint hint: My man likes to share so one BIG bread bowl makes for a romantic dinner as you can see from the picture above. It's difficult to eat bread bowls with good manners. Oh well. It's delicious.

Dominion

2011-06-14T15:57:00.000-07:00

This is what some of our dates look like.

Love it!

P.S. The game is Dominion.

P.S.S. Sometimes we invite others.

Sometimes we want others to invite themselves. *hint hint*

Squirrel vs. Josh

2011-05-31T16:13:00.000-07:00

Squirrels are not welcome in our apartment.

Josh woke up early to enjoy the morning with a cup of coffee and his laptop. It's a beautiful day today - no snow, hail or tornados - so the window was open. While he was sitting there, a squirrel jumped into our apartment through the window, a few stories off the ground! They were probably equally thinking, Oops, probably shouldn't have done that.

After chasing him for awhile, Josh came and gently woke me up to join the fun. I'm so glad he didn't wake me up while said squirrel was in the bedroom. Oy. That squirrel ran around the apartment and found clever hiding places to catch his breath. There was a lot of squirrel-jumping, pot-banging, broom-wacking, furniture-climbing, light-shining, shelf-emptying, chair-standing, and squeeking. I must not have been that threatening because it ran across my feet and legs multiple times. (I've felt squirrely all day!) In the end, after an hour and a half, Josh was the conquering hero. The squirrel climbed back out the window defeated. Now to find the window screens...

Our home is not your home, Squirrel.

Yes, that's a cellphone light.

Attack of the Charley Horse

2011-05-13T17:37:00.000-07:00

My calf tried to kill me last night.

The last time Charley Horse attacked was two years ago when I was racing Josh across a pool in North Dakota. Sooooo not fair. Anyway. Last night was more abusive then said pool attack as Charley grabbed my leg in my sleep. Taken completely off guard, I sat up, promptly let out a yelp, leapt out of bed, and stomped on it--which gave me the upper hand. Oy!

My poor husband. It took some explaining this morning.

Know why it's called a Charley Horse?

Because it feels like you got kicked by this.

(among other reasons, I'm sure)

Here are some other names for it:

USA: Tommy Horse

UK: Deadleg, Grand Daddy or Chopper

Australia: Corked Thigh or "Corky"

German: Pferdekuss - "horse's kiss"

Norway: Lårhøne - "thigh hen"

Netherlands: Ijsbeen - "ice leg"

France: Béquille - "crutch"

Portugal: Paralítica - "paralyzer"

Japan: Komuragaeiri - "cramp in the calf"

Northwest Italy: Vecchia - "old woman" or Dura - "hard/tough one"

South Italy: Morso di Ciuccio - "donkey bite"

Israel: Regel Etz - "wooden leg"

(wikipedia)

I find this interesting. I'm a linguist.

God-Mother's Day

2011-05-10T14:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Jacob, my dashing godson, called me on Skype

to wish me a Happy Mother's Day.

My heart melted.

Wouldn't yours?

These were the highlights of our conversation:

Green
Funny faces
Preschool
Trains
Brushing Teeth

Being 4
Uncle Josh

Just in case you wonder what a godmother and godson talk about.

You can find out more about him on my sister's blog.

What makes my tiny kitchen so lovable?

2011-05-06T18:00:00.000-07:00

Our kitchen is minuscule, but it gets a lot of love. Josh has helped me utilize the space, and its best feature is a tall ceiling. I would love to paint and organize a bit more, but I thought I'd let you peek at one of my favorite places.

Here are the things that make my kitchen so lovable:

Pot Rack

Spice Shelves

Industrial Shelving (under the counter)

Pegboard (above the oven)

Knife Magnet

Coffee Bar (above the sink)

Shelving (above the cupboards)

Under-Cabinet Lighting (just for romance)

Padded Floor Mat

Red Cupboard Curtains

Brokenhearted

2011-04-27T20:38:00.000-07:00

I read on the news this evening that nine Americans were killed in Central Asia today. Today those nine families lost a loved one. The man who killed them, a colleague, was also killed. There are ten families that lost someone today. Somehow since getting married, news like this has become much more difficult to handle. Life without Josh seems nearly unbearable to me. Yet I know that God doesn't abandon. Josh and I have been reading the book of Job, and Job ironically finds comfort in dust and ashes (Job 42).

Dear spouses and families, I'm so sorry.

Dear Jesus, please bring comfort to the brokenhearted.

(I'm going to go give my hubby a smooch and tell him how much he means to me. I recommend you do the same.)

Improve Your Workspace

2011-04-27T11:40:00.000-07:00

When my productivity went down at work, I decided, that one culprit was the space. It was a disaster, and there were days when I came to work, shot straight for my desk, and dreaded looking at my surroundings. So I did something about it and asked for help. A couple people at work came to my rescue. I must say, things are much happier these days.

It started off as a small project, but then we discovered that the wall behind some shelving was like cardboard. No wonder I could hear everything from next door.

A co-worker, volunteer, and I made use of everything we could on a limited budget. They worked on drywall and wiring and we all painted. I decided to paint the file cabinet. So glad.

It was a bit of a shock to everyone when I said that I wanted gray. I felt nervous about it too, but I felt like it would be a good color for a communications/publications office. Plus it won't effect the computer screen when I do editting. Ikea was the winner for furniture.

Then to add a little taste of the World Mission Prayer League, I pulled some pictures from the archives and put them in some clearanced frames.

Here's the final result. And a movement has begun. The business office and other offices on my floor are starting to transform! What do you do to improve your workspace?

Climbing Counters & Ceiling Fans

2011-04-20T12:30:00.000-07:00

What is the first thing you do when you know guests are coming?

I've heard all kinds of crazy things all the way to stashing dirty dishes in the oven. Now, I never do that, but I wouldn't blame you if you do because I have my very own quick-guests-are-coming routine.

I turn on the kitchen fan when guests come over.

Sure, it sounds ridiculous, but if you've ever had a fan in your kitchen you might get where I'm coming from. They get n-a-a-a-sty, but the secret is to leave it on. No one will know. (Josh didn't even know that's why I had the fan running all the time. I'm good.)

One day I was standing on the counter stashing some pantry items. I had turned the fan off, of course, to keep my head from getting lopped off. When I was eye level with the disgusting-ness, I knew I had to do something.

If you've ever tried wiping grease off a fan, you know it just smears all over the place. I had a learning to wife moment, climbed off the counter, and got this.

It solved all my problems.

And now I don't need to turn on the kitchen fan when guests come over. And when I asked Josh if he noticed anything different, he guessed that I painted it. What are you embarrassed of? Even better, what are you no longer embarrassed of?